Backyard Animals

Hey dear,

I know I have a history of dramatic revelations through our blog, but I want you to know this isn't one of them. I just want to have a heart-to-heart about something that's making me sad and anxious.

Can you help me out?

Like, after you read this we should Skype or chat on Facebook, ok? I'm just putting it here for now so you don't have to read it right away.

There were a lot of things that I realized during the week you were here. Pretty much all good things, but I was left with some anxiety.

You know how it took me so long to be intimate with you? You often need to take the initiative, right?

When I look back, I realize that intimacy with you is hard for me.

I wanted to talk about it. Because I want to make sure this doesn't come out of left field.

It's like, I loved having you with me, seeing you discover a new place and meeting new people and looking so happy and comfortable and excited.

What was hard was feeling like Ari from What Ever This Is when it came to being with someone intimately and not really *being* there.

I just wanted to talk about it. Maybe make sense of it. It's something important to us.