The Riot
The demonstration was underway with opposing sides throwing harsh words back and forth.
"You're freaks of nature!"
"Opposites attract!"
"Say no to HOMO!"
The signs read in black bold letters. The other side held their ground.
"Love is blind!"
"All's fair in love and war!"
"Stop discrimination!"
They shouted back and forth.
I stood vaguely aware of everything occurring around me, but the rest of my attention was focused on my one-time best friend challenging me on the other side. I hate him. How could he be so stupid? I saw him... with another boy. I caught them being intimate... It sickens me just to think back on it now. How could he? I felt betrayed. It's like he's not the same person. How long had he been going out with other men? How long had he been my best friend without me knowing this? What if he had feelings for... NO!
"You should be banned from society!"
He screamed this at me with a hot fire in his eyes. It stung. I had fallen for a member of my same gender. Why was it wrong if it felt right? Why did my friend, who I trusted with everything, turn on me now? I admit I didn't tell him because I was afraid. I knew he hated gays. I couldn't tell him I was one of the people he hated, but I'd hoped that when he found out... I'd hoped for something... anything... But this.
"What difference does it make?! We're all equal! We're all humans! We're all flawed in design, but we're all capable of love! Why do you hate us?! Why... Why do you hate me?"
I felt bile rise to my throat as the rage rose from my stomach and into my head.
"It's wrong! It's against nature! It's boy and girl that are meant for each other! Homosexuality isn't love! It's sick!"
He has me by the scruff of my shirt. His free fist is balled and barely holding back from the hook he's so ready to let fly. I grasp the wrist of the hand on my shirt and look up pleadingly.
"What makes you God?!" I scream! "What gives you the right to say that we're wrong?!"
I feel the anger reverberating through me. I'm shaking with adrenaline now. Why wont he let me go?!
"All this time... All this time..." My first is balled to the point where I can feel the skin over my knuckles stretching so tight that I wonder if its going to snap. Every part of me wants to hit him. Every part of me wants to throw him to the ground and beat him until he comes to. Until he wakes up and he realizes that he's been a fool.
"Joel..." I say sternly. I want him to stop.
"Shut the hell up!"
I throw my right hook and Darrien hits the floor. His lip is bleeding. The sight of his blood and the burning look in his eyes somehow penetrates my soul. Like an animal cornered by it prey when it has nothing left to lose, I feel all my rage fly out of control. The guilt has no place in my heart!
He's on me and ruthlessly kicking and punching. I manage to kick him off me, but I'm dazed from the pain. Blood is pounding in my ears and I taste blood on my lips. I stagger backwards as Joel refuses to look up at me from where he fell. He sits glaring at the ground. My best friend became my enemy because of this... I lost my family and most of my friends. Only a hand full stayed by my side. I had known that my decision would cost me, but I never fathomed it would lead me here. Suddenly, I wish Joel had killed me.
I can't look up at him. I can't. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Even his parents kicked him out for Christ's sake! He's a freak! An idiot! He's a freaking pansy!
But, he used to be my best friend. And what if he's always been gay? I never would have guessed it either... But... No! I refuse to let the guilt infiltrate. But... What have I done?! What do I do?!
Suddenly the voices in the background are loud and clear. More fights are breaking out and the police are trying to control the riot. Tempers are flaring as the multitudes are swearing at each other. Shouting obscenities unsuitable for any to hear. I feel hot tears in my eyes as blood from my eyebrow leaks down the side of my face dripping off my chin.
"We were best friends while you didn't know Joel. You hear me?! There's nothing different! I'm still me! I'm still the one you called your friend! How does THIS change ANYTHING?!"
I'm being dragged away by the fuzz. Darrien is being pulled away as well. I know if I struggle I'll only get clocked. I remain silent and let myself be pulled away without much of a struggle. Darrien's words echo in my head. "I'm still the one you called your friend!"
Damn it Darrien! Damn you! DAMN YOU!
Joel, just forgive me. That's all I can hope for. That's the best I can hope for ALL of US. Forgive us and let us live in peace.
"You're freaks of nature!"
"Opposites attract!"
"Say no to HOMO!"
The signs read in black bold letters. The other side held their ground.
"Love is blind!"
"All's fair in love and war!"
"Stop discrimination!"
They shouted back and forth.
I stood vaguely aware of everything occurring around me, but the rest of my attention was focused on my one-time best friend challenging me on the other side. I hate him. How could he be so stupid? I saw him... with another boy. I caught them being intimate... It sickens me just to think back on it now. How could he? I felt betrayed. It's like he's not the same person. How long had he been going out with other men? How long had he been my best friend without me knowing this? What if he had feelings for... NO!
"You should be banned from society!"
He screamed this at me with a hot fire in his eyes. It stung. I had fallen for a member of my same gender. Why was it wrong if it felt right? Why did my friend, who I trusted with everything, turn on me now? I admit I didn't tell him because I was afraid. I knew he hated gays. I couldn't tell him I was one of the people he hated, but I'd hoped that when he found out... I'd hoped for something... anything... But this.
"What difference does it make?! We're all equal! We're all humans! We're all flawed in design, but we're all capable of love! Why do you hate us?! Why... Why do you hate me?"
I felt bile rise to my throat as the rage rose from my stomach and into my head.
"It's wrong! It's against nature! It's boy and girl that are meant for each other! Homosexuality isn't love! It's sick!"
He has me by the scruff of my shirt. His free fist is balled and barely holding back from the hook he's so ready to let fly. I grasp the wrist of the hand on my shirt and look up pleadingly.
"What makes you God?!" I scream! "What gives you the right to say that we're wrong?!"
I feel the anger reverberating through me. I'm shaking with adrenaline now. Why wont he let me go?!
"All this time... All this time..." My first is balled to the point where I can feel the skin over my knuckles stretching so tight that I wonder if its going to snap. Every part of me wants to hit him. Every part of me wants to throw him to the ground and beat him until he comes to. Until he wakes up and he realizes that he's been a fool.
"Joel..." I say sternly. I want him to stop.
"Shut the hell up!"
I throw my right hook and Darrien hits the floor. His lip is bleeding. The sight of his blood and the burning look in his eyes somehow penetrates my soul. Like an animal cornered by it prey when it has nothing left to lose, I feel all my rage fly out of control. The guilt has no place in my heart!
He's on me and ruthlessly kicking and punching. I manage to kick him off me, but I'm dazed from the pain. Blood is pounding in my ears and I taste blood on my lips. I stagger backwards as Joel refuses to look up at me from where he fell. He sits glaring at the ground. My best friend became my enemy because of this... I lost my family and most of my friends. Only a hand full stayed by my side. I had known that my decision would cost me, but I never fathomed it would lead me here. Suddenly, I wish Joel had killed me.
I can't look up at him. I can't. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Even his parents kicked him out for Christ's sake! He's a freak! An idiot! He's a freaking pansy!
But, he used to be my best friend. And what if he's always been gay? I never would have guessed it either... But... No! I refuse to let the guilt infiltrate. But... What have I done?! What do I do?!
Suddenly the voices in the background are loud and clear. More fights are breaking out and the police are trying to control the riot. Tempers are flaring as the multitudes are swearing at each other. Shouting obscenities unsuitable for any to hear. I feel hot tears in my eyes as blood from my eyebrow leaks down the side of my face dripping off my chin.
"We were best friends while you didn't know Joel. You hear me?! There's nothing different! I'm still me! I'm still the one you called your friend! How does THIS change ANYTHING?!"
I'm being dragged away by the fuzz. Darrien is being pulled away as well. I know if I struggle I'll only get clocked. I remain silent and let myself be pulled away without much of a struggle. Darrien's words echo in my head. "I'm still the one you called your friend!"
Damn it Darrien! Damn you! DAMN YOU!
Joel, just forgive me. That's all I can hope for. That's the best I can hope for ALL of US. Forgive us and let us live in peace.
Comments
Post a Comment